Birthdays are not about us. They’re about our Mothers.
Sure, your birthday is the day you came into the world and it’s the day we fete ourselves, or are feted by others - but really, it’s about Mom. We just kinda handed our ticket to the attendant and went along for the ride. Mom did all the work to make things happen.
I have had many different ideas about what to post today, Zacharie’s first birthday. I was going to do a montage of videos, or a montage of photos, or write something profound.. instead I want this to be about Jen. Zacharie’s here, but she did the hard work.
So have a look at these clips, filmed by Jen when Zacharie was about 7 weeks old and tell me she’s not the greatest mother in the world. I dare you.
The music in the background is a song called A Day in May. I wrote it while sitting next to Jen in the hospital. She was in labour, I was writing a song in Garage Band. Yes, today is a day to celebrate Zacharie, but it’s also a day to stop and say thanks to Jen.
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Angelina Jolie has given birth to twin girls and she stole our girl name. Isla Marchelina and Amelie Janewere born in France this weekend, and are, no doubt, already gorgeous.
Amelie! That was ours! Oh sure, it was from a movie that both Jen and I liked, but it’s also a richly beautiful french name that we adore!
Now, it’s not as bad as one of Jen’s girlfriends stealing a baby name, but it’s almost as bad. I mean, who wants to be a famous baby copycat namer? You don’t see people running out and naming their kid Apple do you?
Sooo .. I guess we have to hope for a second boy for #2 (Although I would LOVE to have an Amelie in the house). I’m not going to tell you that name, you know, in case Nicole Kidman steals it.
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Zacharie was supposed to be born May 30, the same day as my mom. We had an appointment to get induced, and this is the video we shot as we left for the hospital at 8a.
After 9 hours in the hospital, Jen still wasn’t in full blown labour. The doc gave us a choice: kick it up a notch and have the baby at 2am, or come back on the 31st and try again. We chose the latter.
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Jen and I subscribed to the newsletters from BabyCenter.com when she found out she was pregnant. They’re great. They give you updates as you move through your pregnancy about what’s happening to your body and how your baby is growing.
Yes, they also send you links to buying baby items, but since they’re all American, we’re not tempted since we don’t qualify - so it’s purely an information source for us.
I didnt know the emails would continue after Z was born, but they have. Your Baby This Week arrived every Thursday detailing growth and behaviour and diet changes in our son to watch for. I just got the latest email and realized everything has changed. Z will turn 1 on Saturday.
This latest email is titled: My Toddler This Week: Your 1 Year Old. No more baby, he’s a toddler.
Now I admit the toddling is limited to pulling himself up on boxes and chairs, but he’s pretty adept and sliding down the step from our kitchen to living room and he can haul ass up the stairs to the bedrooms pretty quickly. And, come to think of it, he’s also mastering the slide (forward AND backwards) at daycare. Wait .. he IS a toddler.
As devoured for the first time, by a young boy 1 week shy of his first birthday.
Last night Z also got his first taste of La Casa Gelato .. unfortunately no cameras were present .. he didnt like it at first, but was soon grabbing and clawing to get his face buried in my bowl of creamy goodness.
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Working in radio locks me in to a pretty specific time frame. It’s not flexible, I’m on the air from 2p-7p every day. That’s it. That’s my shift. If I’m not there, it’s dead air.
I had an ex who joked that I would be so easy to cheat on, because she could just turn on the radio and know exactly where I was. Hmmmm I wonder why she’s an ex?
Jen’s a sales rep, so her schedule is a little more flexible and fluid. She has some conference calls and meetings, but really she makes her own hours to get the job done.
Z is pretty sick this week. The poor little bear is congested, has a runny nose and is having trouble sleeping. I caught a piece of what he has this weekend, and you can add achey and miserable into the mix.
Today as we were getting him ready to take him to daycare, he just started fighting. He was stuffy, coughing and crying. We couldn’t take him - but who would look after him? Jen had a day planned with her supervisor to get retrained coming back from mat leave, and I have to be on the air at 3.
Rock, meet hard place. Hard place, meet rock.
Eventually I traded shifts with our evening guy, so here I am at the radio station rocking the evening shift for the first time in more than a decade. It’s weird - but fun.
A caller just told me about Nannies On Call. A local company of bonded professional nannies who will offer care in a pinch.
Nannies on Call is Western Canada’s premier childcare agency serving Calgary, Vancouver and Whistler. We have been offering exceptional on call, temporary, part-time and full-time nanny services since 2001. You can put your mind at ease knowing that all of our nannies have been carefully screened – we ensure that our nannies are highly experienced, educated women with a passion for childcare.
The service is recommended by the concierge at the Fairmont Hotel, which makes sense. Away for a weekend and you want to leave the kids for a night - these pros will help.
$18/hr would have nicely covered the 2hr window between my work starting and Jen’s finishing today.
Next time.
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Which will you choose as your maternity leave comes to an end and you have to head back into the rat race to put food on the table, cars in the driveway and plants in the garden.
Some of my friends have opted out of this prisoner’s dilemma, and have just sacrificed to keep a parent home. Jen and I’s situation doesnt afford that “luxury” just yet. We opted for daycare and week 1 has come to an end.
A week with Z coming home with bumps on his head, scratches on his cheek. A week where we pick him up with a full diaper and soaked through pants. A week where we find wood chips up his onesie and socks soaked through. A week where he’s not drinking, not eating and not sleeping. A week where noses start running, throats are scratchy and colds are passed on to parents.
That’s a pretty eventful 5 days of extra-parental care. We knew there would be a learning curve for both us, and the daycare staff, but neither of us could have imagined that laundry list in just 5 days.
A recent survey of pediatricians put the question of daycare vs nanny up for debate. For those who landed on a firm side, 50+% opted for “it depends”, the majority chose at home care for those under 2.
Nanny: 35%
Daycare: 12%
Depends on the child’s age and circumstances: 53%
“Nanny before age two. Daycare is better after that, because children are social little beings and love to be around other kids.” — Kim Gush MD, FAAP. Chapel Hill, NC [source]
And who can argue with that? It’s the biggest problem we’re struggling with as Z transistions to care. He’s a baby. He can’t walk. He can’t talk. He can’t properly express his needs. He can’t follow directions.
Yes, socialization is important, and we really do think Z has a ton of fun scrambling through the playground, or climbing all over their slides and gear - but it really comes down to personalized attention for us.
How did Z’s diaper get so full that it soaked through his pants? Noone was paying attention.
How is that Z’s not sleeping more than 45mins for 2 daily naps? Noone is trying to get him back down.
How is that Z’s socks get soaked when his shoes come off on the playground? Noone was paying attention.
How is that Z’s not eating/drinking enough through the day? Noone is making an effort to sit and feed him.
How is that Z’s getting bumped and scratched and bruised? Noone is there to catch a climbing infant’s fall.
Now I don’t want to be that parent. You know, the extra clingy and protective and complaining parent who thinks their child is perfect and is never getting enough attention - but Z is a baby, in a room full of toddlers, he needs the extra attention.
Jen and I are talking about switching to a nanny, we have friends who have live in care for the same price we’re paying for daycare, but we don’t have room for a suite. So we’d have to go with a live out nanny, and without the accomodation subsidy you provide with live in care, the costs rise quickly - I don’t think it’s doable.
Which means we’re stocking up on band aids, and patience.
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We’ve been tossing around ways to try and get Z motivated to feed himself. He’ll eat Cheerios and toast and small things, but he’s not really into trying to do it on his own.
My mother said she used to give us mango pits when we were kids. They were a fun puzzle for us to chew on and try to get the mango off, plus they were great as a relief from teething.
Perfect, we tried it today.
Mom’s always right.
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I think we’ve established the existence of BPA in our children’s bottles is a bad thing. Retailers have quickly scrambled to remove them from shelves after the Canadian Government took steps to label BPA a dangerous substance.
So we’ve taken steps to save our kids. Now it’s time to have a look through the rest of our cupboards and see what’s doing damage to us.
It has everything broken down by manufacturer, product, and recycle number. It explains everything simply, and if you find anything on the list in red in your cupboards, you’ve got to get rid of it.
Actually, my colleague is done with plastic, and the microwave altogether. I might be heading that direction too.
**UPDATE** for some reason the links above don’t link directly to the pdf file. Please right click on the picture or the text link and choose “Save Link As” to download the file and view it.
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Birthdays are not about us. They’re about our Mothers. 
Jen and I subscribed to the newsletters from 
Z is pretty sick this week. The poor little bear is congested, has a runny nose and is having trouble sleeping. I caught a piece of what he has this weekend, and you can add achey and miserable into the mix.
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